The Squareness of Cows *
Chapter One - On First Looking Into Loxton’s Cow
It occurred to him, while leaning over his neighbour's rusty farm gate, that this spectacularly squarish animal in front of him, its back and arse forming a perfect right angle, its spine rigid and straight, its four equal legs at the four corners of a body the proportions of a standard bale, and a neck that allowed it to tidily fold its head right down to the ground - above all, this animal was designed to be stackable, much like the chairs in the village hall, and farmers before him had missed a trick in not realising the space-saving potential of the bovine form.
It further occurred to him that such intelligent design was evidence of the existence of God; possibly a Swedish one, at that. Evolution could not possibly provide an account of why cows would need to be stackable by more than the cow-plus-bull configuration necessary for mating purposes, and even that arrangement, when he thought about it, was more like a lean-to than a proper stack. This was no accident of biology. Yes, there was a God, he was sure; and a personal one too; and most importantly, He was going to make him very rich.
* A traditional X of Y formula; see this post for more details
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